Stop Working for the Money - Episode: 029
Today, we dissect the age-old wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita and its insights on the purpose of work. We'll bring to light the damage we create by focusing on the reward rather than the process. Drawing parallels to our roles as fathers, we challenge the common perception of parenting success, advocating instead for a present-focused mindset that takes in the moments and detaches from the results. Join us as we break the chains of future outcomes and bask in the daily joys of being a father.
Speaker 1
This is the Durable Dad podcast. I'm your host, tommy Geary. This show is going to give you the skills and tools you need to be a rock solid man for your work, your community and, most importantly, your family. Alright, what's up guys? Episode number 28 of the Durable Dad podcast. Hope you guys are doing well.
Speaker 1
I just got back from a really awesome weekend. Brenda and I dropped off our daughters with Brenda's parents and we went to a music festival. It was just one day, one night of camping and it felt like a whole week. It was really really good to just I don't know million things Get away with just the two of us. I don't think we realized how much we needed it, and this was just quick 24 hours of a two hour car ride together, a freaking sweet music festival, and then another two hour car ride together, and we had some conversations that we probably should have been having a couple weeks ago, but they happened at the perfect time on this weekend. So just feeling really connected with Brenda and myself. This music festival was awesome. It was the All-In Festival in Indianapolis and I don't know danced our faces off and we met some really cool people at the campground and then we saw them in the concert and hung out with them. It was a blast. So still kind of riding the high off of that weekend and trying to channel it into work.
Speaker 1
And I was going to be talking about one topic today and I have this other one on my mind, on my heart, that has come up for me a few times. So this week we're going to talk about why we work and the purpose of working, and this is all stemming from the book the Bhagavad Gita, the story the Bhagavad Gita. I'm reading it again for the third time and if you aren't familiar with the Bhagavad Gita, you can think of it as in Christianity it would be like Jesus' Sermon on the Mount In a way. I guess I don't know if I'm saying that right. I'm not a theologist, I don't know much about religion, but this is a Hindu story. It's one of the most read stories in their religion and it translates into yoga. And that's when I first read the Bhagavad Gita, when I took my yoga certification training, and what I really want to read is this one part that just always nails me.
Speaker 1
The story is Krishna is the God talking to Arjuna, who's a soldier. He's an amazing soldier and he's on the brink of battle. It's either like the night before the morning of the battle, and Arjuna is questioning everything. He's not sure if he wants to fight the people on the other side or people that he knows, and Arjuna asks questions. Krishna aka God and in the Hindu religion they have different names for God gives him the answers, and so the whole story of the Bhagavad Gita is Arjuna the warrior asking questions to God about life and whether or not he should fight in this battle.
Speaker 1
And I'll read this quote. So, krishna, god says you have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction. Alright, so I'm going to break this down a little bit, but pretty much he's telling him fight, go and fight, but don't fight for victory. Fight because that's who you are. Be who you are, be who your true self is. So this concept is kind of wild to me. It's something that I have been thinking about and teetering with for at least eight years. Work hard, but don't work for the reward. So fruits would be accolades, acknowledgement, working for more money, working to build your network those are the fruits that we want to detach from and when we do attach to those fruits.
Speaker 1
I'm going to read another line from the Bhagavad Gita those who are motivated only by desire for the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do. That anxiety of always worrying about how much money you're going to make, the anxiety of worrying about who you're surrounding yourself with or if you're making the right connections, the anxiety that comes with worrying about what other people think of you and being able to produce as much as possible. Like if we're just focused on the finished product. It's going to create anxiety. Now, that's what he's saying and I don't have the answer. I just think that figuring out the answer would be pretty badass and I think that's personally my journey. And what Krishna says here is the wise unify their consciousness and abandon attachment to the fruit of action. When I was reading this quote again, I kind of had it framed for me and my business and I know that when I work and have fun because I know that I love coaching and I know that I love teaching and putting out this kind of content If I'm doing it that way, because that's like what I'm really good at. Then it flows so much easier than if I'm worried about how much money we're going to make next month or how much money we're going to take in this year. If I'm worried and attached to, that creates a lot of anxiety. So typically that's usually where I frame up this kind of quote.
Speaker 1
But I wanted to look at it through the lens of fatherhood. What are the fruits of fatherhood? If we're being a dad now and we're working hard on being a dad, if we're attached to the fruits, what does that mean? So I kind of thought of it as a lot of guys will talk about wanting to have a really good relationship with their kids when they're older. I'm working now so I have a relationship with them when they're older. Or I want my kids to be successful. I want them to do well in life. That would be a fruit, something that's happening in the future.
Speaker 1
Another one is not screwing them up. It's kind of the same thing as success, but it's a fruit is. I just don't want to screw my kids up, thank you. When we are dating with the fruits in mind, we usually are pushing our kids harder. Right now, we're usually nagging on them more. We won't let them fail and we don't hear them out when they're complaining. I just I know that when I'm talking with my daughter that I have in mind a lot. I want to say the right thing. I don't want to say the wrong thing. That's gonna stick with her for the rest of her life and I'm gonna screw her up. In this moment, when I'm there, I'm all up in my head and I never parent well from being up in my head. I parent well when I drop down into my heart and have more ease and allow her to be who she is and discipline when it's time to discipline, but not always telling her what to do.
Speaker 1
And I think the work for dads is to figure this out. How do you be a dad but not attach yourself to the fruits? Because being a dad is our work. I'm gonna read one more sentence from the Bhagavad Gita. Krishna says perform work in this world, arjuna, as a man established within himself. That's freaking awesome.
Finding Joy in Fatherhood
Speaker 1
If we're gonna work our ass off at being a dad, we have to learn. We have to heal our bullshit right, all the baggage that we're bringing with from our childhood, from our past relationships. If we want to be a good dad, we got to figure that stuff out, let go of it so we can be a new type of dad and we take out all that stuff. We look at all that stuff and it doesn't mean we are completely separate from our parents and do things totally differently, but we decide what do we want to stop doing and what attributes and love do we want to give them? And we got to figure out how to prioritize our freaking time. Right, we say certain things matter to us a lot, but does our time reflect that? So when we can do that stuff this is this is what I'm figuring out when we can work on ourself and shed old stories and drop some of those stuck emotions that live inside of us, and when we can start prioritizing our time to align with what's important to us, then the rest is easy.
Speaker 1
And I guess the things that I just said aren't necessarily easy, those that's hard work to do, but that is the work that we're meant to do as dads, as fathers. Right, a man established within himself. Be inside of ourself, not connected to the external world. And when we're there, I probably when we connect to our internal self. What is there? And what I found from the work?
Speaker 1
I do, the work I do with clients, is just this desire to love our kids, to find more joy in the moment-to-moment, and not trying to be a perfect dad and not trying to do it right, trying to make my kids successful in the future or a good relationship with them when they're older, and not thinking about screwing them up, dropping all that bullshit and just being me and smiling and loving and present.
Speaker 1
The work for dads is to figure this out. How do you be a dad but not attach yourself to the fruits? So, guys, hope this landed with you and hope it gets you thinking about working for working sake, because that's our inner desire, and not working towards the fruits, trying to detach ourselves from the end results. I'll read the line last time. That really got me pumped up and motivated you have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work. No rights to the results, but you have the rights to work your ass off. That's what I got for you and I appreciate all you guys for listening. Lots of love and have an awesome week.
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